As I type this, our breastfeeding journey is still going strong at 13 months! I’m not sure at what point we really hit our groove, but it has been a long and bumpy road. As a former NICU RN, I know breastfeeding is a very natural process, that doesn’t usually come naturally! I was going to do the best I could for my little one and be prepared as possible. Most of my friends and family started out breastfeeding, and many made it 6 months or longer, so I knew I would have support in my decision to breastfeed. I’d also been there for their many horror stories that I knew I wanted to avoid. I booked a prenatal consult and took notes. But, even the best laid plans…

She was born full term but had difficulties and was taken to the NICU right away. I didn’t see her again for 5 hours, way past that magical Golden Hour I just knew was going to set up our breastfeeding journey for success. I didn’t even know she had been given her first bottles. With my OB’s blessing, I had collected and frozen colostrum before she was born, which ended up being my baby’s first feedings. I was brought a pump almost as soon as they took my baby out of the room and thanks to my prenatal consult, I figured it out quickly. In the midst of the worry and unknown, it made me feel like a little bit was within my control. The first time she latched, I just had a nurse there to snap a photo and then she left. It was not at all how I thought our first breastfeeding attempt together would go. Alone, behind a curtain, wearing a mask so my baby couldn’t even see me smiling down at her, the many NICU beeps and voices in the background, wires and tubes tangled everywhere, my arms awkwardly propped on the small rocking chair arms and thin hospital pillow. I brought the little bit of milk I pumped in with me since she still needed to take milk from a bottle afterwards.