Let’s be real. There are a lot of changes that happen after having a baby.
Your relationship is going through a transition that you are unfamiliar with, which can be tough to adjust to at first. You are trying to figure out how much time you have to spend together, who you are as a parent, and how you are going to split up responsibilities with your partner. It can be stressful to accept change; however while you are evolving as a parent, you are still the same person you were prior to becoming a mother.
Know That Relationship Struggles Are Normal
You are not alone if your relationship feels differently than it did before your new arrival. In fact, it is so normal for the dynamic between you and your partner to feel off for a little bit. You both are reacting and adapting to a big change differently, which is to be expected. Everyone handles stress differently, so understanding each other and how you are feeling will greatly help you in the long run.
Attend Prenatal Classes Together
Bringing your partner is a great way to help you both grow together, and will help you both step into parenting. This can help keep you both on the same page, and both up to date on the parenting knowledge that will help in the future. Consider taking a look at our prenatal classes, which are covered by most insurance!
Work On Communication
If you know you struggle with communication, it is important to work on this prior to having your baby. Lack of communication is one of the most common reasons for couples to struggle, and managing it before stressful times will help you tremendously. Remember that your partner cannot read your mind, and vice versa. Tell them what you need and ask what they need from you. Remember, it is significantly easier to fix issues in the beginning, so don’t wait until it’s broken! Do not be embarrassed to seek help.
What Should You Do Once The Baby Arrives?
The same thing you did before having a baby- spend time together! Some activities may not be achievable for now, but it is important to replace those experiences with new ones so you can continue to bond. You may not be up to going out dancing for a while, but who said you can’t order takeout and dance in your living room with your partner? Don’t want to go to the movies? Stock up on each other’s favorite snacks and have a movie night from home! By continuing to bond with each other, you are less likely to feel distanced from your partner, or like your relationship is struggling. We know you have a lot less time after the arrival of a baby, but keep in mind that even small bonding moments can make a big difference to prevent drifting apart.
Incorporate Your Love Language
Do you know what your partner’s love language is? We all experience love in different ways, as well as have different values within a romantic relationship. Try taking a quiz online to find out both of your love languages to better understand what is most important to both you and your partner. Discuss your results with your partner to compare what you each value, and how you can incorporate it into the relationship. For example, if your love language is acts of kindness, maybe your partner could bring you a cup of coffee in the morning, or offer to watch the baby while you take time to yourself. If your partner values quality time, be sure to make time to be alone together, whether it just be watching a little TV before bed, snuggling up on the couch, or going on a walk together.
Sometimes, we know our partners love us but don’t always feel loved. This is typically the result of having different love languages (which is absolutely fine!). Communication is necessary in this situation to advocate for what you need to feel loved in the relationship. Express what you want and need rather than complaining about what you are not getting!
Our first thought when it comes to this word tends to be sex. However, this is not feasible right after having a baby since your body needs time to heal. There are so many different forms of intimacy you can engage in with your partner that we tend to overlook. Consider incorporating back rubs and massages, oral stimulation, and good ol’ fashioned make-outs into your relationship during this time. Communicate with your partner what you are comfortable with beforehand. As your comfortability levels change, keep your partner in the loop.
As mentioned previously, knowing you are not alone is so important. Finding someone you trust to talk to about your concerns can be incredibly beneficial. Consider joining a Mom Support Group to find others with similar problems or advice.
At the end of the day, communication should always come into play. Being honest and staying on the same page as your partner is what will help your relationship the most and help avoid conflict.
***The information provided on our website is intended solely for general educational and informational purposes only. It is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician for any questions you may have regarding your or your child’s medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have received in this information.***